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His mind was sharp, but his vision was blurred. He could think, but could not talk. He wanted to write, but could not use his hands. With one eye sewn shut, his only means of communication was by blinking his left eye. Yet despite his obstacles and challenges, he was able to produce a bestselling book that was turned into a movie.
Jean-Dominique was the editor of the French ELLE magazine, living a fast-paced life in the world of fashion when a massive stroke struck him in 1995 and left him paralyzed. He had become a victim of an extremely rare disease known as “Locked-in Syndrome”. While Jean-Dominique’s mind was fully functioning, the blinking of his left eye was his only means of communication. Yet he refused to give in to the circumstances and decided to fight back. Here’s what he did:
1. Accept the situation. Easier said than done, Jean-Dominique realized that lamenting on the situation was not going to change things for the better. As such, he decided he was going to face the challenge courageously.
2. Focus on what he still had and what he could do. Since whatever you tend to focus on usually becomes a reality, Jean-Dominique chose to focus on what he could still do. He could still “write” a book.
3. Setting goals and developing plans to achieve them.
4. Taking action. In order to achieve his outcome, Jean-Domnique knew he had to be more persistent than ever. Nothing could substitute hard work.
What is the challenge you are currently facing in your life? Are you prepared to learn something from it or are you merely a victim of it? What are your plans to overcome this challenge? Are you prepared to take the necessary action to get what you want?
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.
But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest – in perfect peace.
The king chose the second picture.
“Because,” explained the king, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace.”
From unknown source
What makes a difference between a relationship that works out well and one which does not? What is the secret formula for making love work? In this article, you are about to receive some valuable tips about making your relationship with your significant other a success:
1. Making time for each other, regardless of your hectic schedule. According to relationship and counselling experts, long-term couples who fail to make time for each other are likely to drift apart sooner or later. One common excuse is work. While work is important, it is equally important for you to allocate some time to spend with your partner. Find something that you can both do since the activity is your common interest.
2. Creating surprises. In making a relationship work out well, there’s a need for you to continuously provide your partner with surprises. Remember those days when you and your partner were dating… how was the experience different from now? Perhaps that was a time when you were constantly trying to please your partner, always finding creative and new ways to add passion and fun in the relationship.
3. Talk about your future together. It is only fair to let each other know that you relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts are not in vain. For example, I do know of a friend who’s having a fabulous relationship with his partner because both of them share a common vision not only as lovers, but as business partners too.
4. Communicate with each other on a regular basis. It doesn’t matter whether you accomplish this through the exchanging of sms, phone calls, face-to-face meetups etc. As John Piece once quoted, “Communication is not only the essence of being human, but also a vital property of life.”
5. Develop a deeper understanding of your partner’s needs. The map is not the territory. Whenever you start projecting your own set of “rules” in the life of your partner, you are likely to cause a strain in the relationship. To make any relationship a success, you will have to develop an understanding of other peoples’ “rules”. The more you play by their “rules”, the more you are in “control” of the relationship.
Things may not seem to be working our for me right now, but I know that I will make the best of the situation. I know that I will do everything that I can, taking a little step at a time. I will not worry but rather look at what I am going through as a challenge. Perhaps this is a time to dvelop patience and faith to realize I can change my attitude even if I can’t change my circumstances. I am going to handle this and find the strength to surmount these obstacles.
No matter what happens to us in life, those feelings of defeat and disappointment can be minimized and offset by the power of hope. As the American President Barack Obama once said, “Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it, and to work for it, and to fight for it.”
So how can we practice hope at the darkest times of our lives?
1) Letting go: This is the remarkable ability to go with the flow without being disturbed by whatever that happens on the outside.
2) Holding on to your vision: In times of adversity, it is essential for you to seek ways to enlarge your vision of life and circumtances. By enlarging your vision of the possibilities, you will also discover fresh insights and better options.
3) Be persistent: Sometimes, the situation that we are in may tend to get worse before it turns for the better. This is a phase where we are moving from conscious incompetence to conscious competence. This is also the stage where most people tend to give up. Here, you have to be determined to keep moving forward no matter what happens.
Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.
Erik H. Erikson
Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers.
Robert Ingersoll
Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.
Vaclav Havel
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
Orison Swett Marden
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.
Emily Dickenson
Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
Dr. Martin Luther King
Hope is the dream of a waking man.
Aristotle
Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.
Samuel Smiles
Hope is not blind optimism. It’s not ignoring the enormity of the task ahead, or the roadblocks that stand in our path. It’s not sitting on the sidelines or shirking from a fight. Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it, work for it, and fight for it.
Barack Obama
Once there lived three Sakula fishes who were great friends and constant companions. Among them, one had much foresight and forethought. Another was noted as possessing a great presence of mind. The third fish was simply a procrastinator.
One day a group of fishermen came to the lake and began to bale out its water to a lower ground through diverse outlets. Beholding the water of the lake gradually decreasing, the fish who had much forethought shouted to his two companions, “A great danger is about to overtake all the aquatic creatures living in this lake! Let us speedily go to some other place before our path becomes obstructed! Let’s leave this place at once!”
Then, the fish who was the procrastinator replied, “It is well said. There is however, no need of such haste.”
Turning towards his procrastinating companion, the fish who was noted for his great presence of mind spoke, “When the time for anything comes, I never fail to provide for it according to the situation.”
Hearing the answers of his two companions, he of great forethought and foresight immediately left his companions and raced towards another deep lake.
Meanwhile, the fishermen sensing that all the water had been baled out, began shutting in the fishes that remained. Both Sakula the procrastinator and Sakula the “mindful one” were caught with many others. Yet as the fishermen began to tie to a long string the fishes they had caught, Sakula the “mindful one” quickly thrust himself into the company of those that had been so tightly tied up and remained quietly among them. Biting onto the string, the “mindful one” wanted to give the fishermen the impression that he had too been caught.
Since the fishermen assumed that all the fishes attached to the string had already been caught, they then removed them to a piece of deep water to wash them. In a split second, the Sakula noted for his great presence of mind let go of the string and quickly escaped to safety. On the other hand, the fish who had been procrastinating eventually failed to escape and met with death.
Moral of Story: Never Procrastinate in life! Failure is often the line of constant procrastination!
(Excerpt from the Mahabharata)
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water.
She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?”
“You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “My mum has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.”
He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.” As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and men also became stronger. A few years later, he actually became a doctor.
One day, as Dr. Howard Kelly was on his duty, he was summoned in for consultation of a very rare disease. When he heard the name of the town the patient came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day forth, he began giving special attention to the case.
After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval.
He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. Hesistant to open it, the lady feared that it would take the rest of her life to settle the bill. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention at the side of the bill…
“Paid in full with one glass of milk”
(Signed)
Dr. Howard Kelly
As tears of joy flooded her eyes, she prayed: “Thank You, Lord, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands.”
There is well brought out the distinction between mere beggars and the real lovers of God. Begging is not the language of love. To worship God even for the sake of salvation or any other rewards equally degenerate. Love knows no reward. Love is always for love’s sake. … When you see a beautiful scenery and fall in love with it, you do not demand anything in the way of favour from the scenery, nor does the scenery demand anything from you. Yet the vision thereof brings you to a blissful state of the mind; it tones down all the friction in your soul, it makes you calm, almost raises you, for the time being, beyond your mortal nature and places you in a condition of quite divine ecstasy. This nature of real love is the first angle of our triangle. Ask not anything in return for your love; let your position be always that of the giver…
The second angle of the triangle of love is that love knows no fear…. So long as there is any fear in the heart, how can there be love also? Love conquers naturally all fear. Think of a young mother in the street and a dog barking at her; she is frightened and flies into nearest house. But suppose the next day she is in the street with her child, and a lion springs upon the child. Where will be her position now? Of course, in the very mouth of the lion, protecting her child. Love conquers all fear. Fear comes from the selfish idea of cutting one’s self off from the universe. The smaller and the more selfish I make myself, the more is my fear. If a man thinks he is a little nothing, fear will surely come upon him. And the less you think of yourself as an insignificant person, the less fear there will be for you. So long as there is the least spark of fear in you there can be no love there. Love and fear are incompatible…
The third angle of the love-triangle is that love knows no rival, for in it is always embodied the lover’s highest ideal. True love never comes until the object of our love becomes to us our highest ideal. It may be that in many cases human love is misdirected and misplaced, but to the person who loves, the thing he loves is always his own highest idea. One may see his ideal in the vilest of beings, and another in the highest of beings; nevertheless, in every case it is the ideal alone that can be truly and intensely loved.
(The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda, 3.88-89)
Just as much as we would like to be sensitized about the importance of giving, we too have to learn how to be a gracious receiver. The challenge is that while some people are cheerful givers, they are bad receivers. They tend to refuse gifts due to various absurd reasons (e.g. pride), thereby blocking their channels to success as they find themselves eventually with little or nothing.
A balance should be maintained between giving and receiving. In fact you can simply practice gratitude in your life just by being a gracious receiver. Learn to appreciate yourself better by allowing yourself to receive whatever that comes to you, since they are what you truly deserve in life. This is the Law of Attraction in operation!
Do you not feel good whenever you give something to someone? If that’s the case, why deny others of a chance for feeling the same way by refusing their gifts? While it is fine for you to give and others to receive, you cannot expect to not receive and have the law of reciprocity be denied.
Remember: Whenever a person offers you a gift, accept and receive it with grace and appreciation. Be reminded of the law of reciprocity which is ever in operation and there is a reason for you being presented with the gift!
